Dear Communist !

(I found this old letter, I wrote to my communist friends when I discovered the clash of my own feelings and ideology of Communism)

I don't believe those who claim to be a true communist. Because until you remain a human being, you can never be a good communist or even a good Gandhian. It is because of being a human makes you feel. When you go to demolish the capitalism, the bloodshed makes you feel your cruelty against humanity. Don't you feel any pity! When you are asked to hold the supreme position of a nation, the first thing you ask is to spend a million rupees for your bedroom decoration (referred to expenditure details of Prachand when he became Prime Minister of Nepal). What a display of your concerns for class-struggle !! Doesn't it show the greed and weakness of a simple person? You feel attachment to your position and status. You feel love for the daughter of your bloody capitalist landlord (referred to the character of Tanya in the writings of Nikolai Ostrovsky). You feel-feel-feel… How can you be a true communist !! If you cannot forget yourself for your commune, How are you going to make everyone a communist !!

Some of my so called communist friends say to me that I've been turning into an individualist from a socialist. Is not the society comprised of individuals and is not socialism for individuals? I am not interested to make here any argument on individualism or socialism. I am talking here about the feelings and thought-systems found in an ordinary person like me. And it must had been a 'Feeling' giving birth to the thought of Socialism. Thoughts can be great but feelings are always heavy... heavy upon all your ideologies.